Dear anti-hotdog parents,
Why do you hate me? I’m made from the same animal as bacon, ham, and spare-ribs, so why discriminate? Sure, I may be made up of the left-overs, but isn’t that a good thing? If I wasn’t made with these parts they would be thrown away and additional pigs would be killed to take their place.
I know I’m not alone. My friends, chicken nugget and bologna, receive the same treatment. We aren’t necessarily worse for your diet than other meats, but you still dust off your shoulder when we are near. We never asked for your entire diet or even meal; we only ask you to substitute us every so often for other meats. I know, you think we are made of gross discarded parts which other meats won’t use. Although that is true to an extent, you are hurting the environment by weening children off us. For every child which used to eat bologna sandwiches but now eats turkey breast there is an additional pig ear in the landfill. Not only this, but for every turkey breast the child eats there is an additional turkey that needs food and water. And although some turkey farms are using the methane produced from their poop as electricity, many still aren’t. The end result is more pollution.
Surely you don’t mean to hurt the environment, no one does. It is all lack of awareness. That is why I, Mr. Nugget, and Mr. Bologna have come together to educate you, your family and friends about this subject. We don’t want your money or even much of your time. We just want you to reconsider your decision on not feeding your children our product.
Thank you for listening,
PK Hotdog
P.S. If you have any questions about the environmental aspects of hotdogs, please let me know.
Written: Mar 25, 2009
JustinSMV
March 27, 2009 @ 12:27 am
That’s a clever letter
BTW I love mystery hot-dogs 
Analytics
March 28, 2009 @ 5:37 am
Hahahahah! It is said that the only part of the pig that doesn’t get used is its squeal. The jury is out on the heart disease risks associated with processed meats however, and this could explain the un-popularity of hotdogs.