I finally got around to watching the Underworld films. After getting around the Matrix feel and the overused camera filter, it still wasn’t good. The movie was decent, due to the storyline, but that is about it.
Underworld has clothes and fighting skills like the Matrix, guns like Blade, and the blue camera filter like every other ‘dark’ film made in the past 15 years. Some people may enjoy this but to me it seems like the filmmakers simply wanted to smash together several aspects of successful films and roll with it.
Sure the werewolves, I mean ‘Lycons’, are pretty cool, but they look like a mixture of Alien and Crocodile Dundee. The only werewolf which looks bad ass is William. I don’t blame the director for wanting William to look bad ass, he should, but the other werewolves could look a ton better. Hell, they could have used the makeup/costume from Wolf and I would be happy.
Let’s move onto the guns. Sure, I fully expect vampires and werewolves to use modern technology. Why wouldn’t they? But using guns to fight against each other and only resorting to hand-to-hand combat last second is a bit ridiculous. The only vampire which uses what the bat gave him is Marcus, only because he has cool wings. Alright, so Viktor and Michael have a nice fight (even though Viktor had a sword). Out of all the vampires and all of the werewolves you have one, maybe two decent fights and those fights are only decent because the werewolves (for whatever reason) decide to drop their guns and turn into Alien Dundee. They then not care how many times they are shot and continue to run at the men holding guns so they can slash and bite.
Maybe the vampires are smarter? Why use the bat when you can use the gun? The werewolves could just be stupid and turn to instincts instead when facing difficulties. Or, maybe the film is just stupid because of this.
For Michael supposedly having unlimited power he sucks at fighting. He never wins a fight. Yes, he fights against strong vampires and wolves but he still sucks endlessly. Not only does he suck, but he sucks so hard that he almost dies four times. “Oh look, Michael is going to die! Nevermind, he is alive.” You would think after a few times one would realize he pretty much can’t die unless he gets the Viktor treatment (which by the way, is a stupid way for a master vampire to die).
Some reason, Michael’s costume reminded me of Teen Wolf and Hulk. I guess it’s because he looks like a mini-hulk (I kept thinking of Conan O’Brien’s skit where he turns into the Hulk) and he moves around like Michael J. Fox in Teen Wolf.
Which leaves me to Selene’s character. The second film seems as if the writers thought, ‘people love Kate Beckinsale, so lets make her even more bad ass!’ and they did just that. She becomes so bad ass that she is more badass than Michael can ever be. But never worry, she loves him and they will soon make an Uber baby (even though in the sex scene he doesn’t have a penis and he looks like he is trying to stick it in Selene’s belly button).
The uber baby will be even more powerful than any other vampire, wolf, or hybrid. He will be one-part wolf, two-part vampire, and two-part immortal. Fantastic. What makes Selene and Michael believe they can actually control their child when their forefather couldn’t control his? He was more powerful as well. He loved them, but he couldn’t kill them. Not many parents could. So why should we believe they can?
This is why there should be a forth film titled Underworld IV: Uber Baby. The baby can roam around in his diapers kicking the crap out of the neighbors kids. Then, when he is a teenager (wait, how will that work? Vampires and werewolves don’t age and I doubt immortals do either) He will get all the ladies but turn each one into a blood thirsty vampire. After controlling a herom, he will release them upon New York and gain control of Wall-Street.
Written: Jun 3, 2009
Tina
June 7, 2009 @ 4:46 am
i didnt read much sorry cause i havent saw this film yet :0
thats the problem with sequels though isnt it, is trying to keep you still interested. I did like the first one though